


One of the Pack

by Sivullinen



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Gen, Werewolves, post-HBP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-05
Updated: 2006-08-05
Packaged: 2017-10-02 02:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sivullinen/pseuds/Sivullinen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lupin fights hard to maintain his humanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One of the Pack

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [hp_ficathon](http://community.livejournal.com/hp_ficathon/) prompt "Savage".

You’re standing among Voldemort’s werewolves, listening to Fenrir Greyback’s speech about how no one deserves a normal life, because it has been denied from you all. Others are shouting their approval, and you should join them, you really should, so as to not wake suspicion. You cannot, though, because you’re certain that if you open your mouth you’ll vomit.

You’re living with the werewolves. One could imagine that the full moon is the most difficult time, but actually, it isn’t. At full moon, you can convince yourself that your companions are so savage just because they have no choices, and besides, it’s more difficult to notice your uneasiness in the wolf form, so you feel safer. At other times, you feel so disgusted when you see other werewolves’ glee when they hear about new kills, that it’s difficult to maintain your cover. At those times, you also have time to think about what you’re doing. You wish you didn’t.

With time, you start appreciating that Snape brews Wolfsbane Potion for you even more. As weeks go by, you’re starting to forget what real world is like, what being a human is like. You desperately cling to you humanity, and Wolfsbane Potion helps you at that. You’re certain that if you lose your humanity now, you’ll never find it again.

Only occasionally you manage to get away, and even then you only have time to quickly file a report to the Order, before you have to go back. You don’t want to be missed. You have no time for socializing, and frankly, you’re happy of it, because you’re afraid others would get scared of how much you’ve changed, how much you’ve forgotten about being normal.

At nights, you go through spells, hexes, pranks, recipes - any kind of memories. You don’t want to forget them. You’re afraid you will.

Then, Dumbledore dies. You grieve for your beloved mentor, until it suddenly dawns to you that this also means Snape has disappeared. Suddenly, you’ve no place for grief, because it’s all replaced by horror.

When the next full moon comes, you’ll become one of the werewolves. And this time, it'll be for real.


End file.
